I Am A Good Friend

An Interesting Perspective On Friendship

Sadly this statement isn’t true for me. This is not me trying to get a sympathy vote or people to worry about me… I learnt a painful lesson about friendship.

First of all, friendship isn’t one of those things that comes with a reference book. The most advice you get make sure you pick good friends. No definition was given to the word friend so you can imagine the confusion when a friend you pick is deemed not so good. I remember being a child and how simple friendship was. Most of the time the whole class or school is your friend until they do something you don’t like then you of them for a bit but you still go back to them. Somehow when you are young you brush things off quickly.

Somehow over the years it’s been interesting. I am not sure how I picked my friends but I must say I am pretty happy with my choices. Each and every person I have shared a conversation with has shaped my life today. I know it sounds cliché but I really appreciate it now when I look back. However, when I look back I realise that some friendships were not the best.

In particular, the ones where I invested more than I got back in return. I had to realise that a good friendship is one where there is give and take. It isn’t healthy for one person to be a giver and the other simply a taker.

It becomes toxic. Funny though cause when you are in it you don’t realise it. It’s only when you decide to be silent you notice that there is nothing coming from the other side. So yes I wasn’t such a good friend when I ended some relationships because I should have had that the decency to call and explain myself. I didn’t know what to say or how to say that our friendship was killing me. I was constantly upset because it suddenly dawned on me that I hardly knew you.

It hurt me that my life had changed and our friendship couldn’t. We both had changed and life pulled us in different directions. I didn’t want to compromise who I was becoming to satisfy who I was, so I kept quiet. For that i am sorry. Somehow I think it is okay…

Sabbatical diary: Day 11

Source Facebook.com

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